My Pregnancy Journey: The Second Trimester
So, I started writing this blog so many times.
I had so many thoughts and notes, things I wanted to share and then in true pregnancy fashion would write them all down in different places and they are all over the place, so now I am going to try to piece them together.
But here is the thing. My journey will NOT be like yours. It’s impossible. Every single pregnancy is and should be completely different.
But, I hope you can take away some things from this that may help you with yours, or make you feel less alone in your thoughts, but just like the response is always “ask your doc!” - the truth really is - “listen to your body.”
That is what I have learned overall.
Mental health.
WELL, here we go!
This trimester has FLOWN BY. It has been emotional, stressful, easy to some extent, fun, exciting and WILD. We moved, we sold a house and then the sale fell through at the last minute and then we did it again - fingers crossed it’s almost over now, I started to “nest” as they say and my energy has been really high overall. Mixed with some painful fatigue, crippling anxiety and ridiculous crying spells. Ya know the highs and lows are pretty par for the course here.
I had a few bites of foods on the no-no list by accident and panicked.
I used some skin care products I thought were safe (AGAIN. Refer back to pregnancy journal part 1 for my breakdown on this) and then re-read the labels and PANICKED HARD. And I let stress get the best of me MANY times this tri-mester.
I found mysefl aplogizing to my baby in my journal so many times, so I had to really have a solid talk with myself to help myself understand that this panicking, this anxiety, this pressure I was putting on myself was the most harmful thing I could potentially do to myself and my baby. No food or skin care ingredients could truly be as toxic as the pain I was allowing in.
So what did I do about it?
I set some REAL HIGH AND HARD BOUNDARIES. Pregnant or not I think this is a lesson for everyone. When something is impacting your mental health, it is important to recognize and figure out if there is anything you can do to help it and also honor the fact that there is a lot that you will never be able to help or control and thats ok too! But “controling the controllables” is really really key.
Boundaries and asking for help. This is major.
I found a lot of peace in really delegating where I could, professionally and within our home/my marriage as well. In my personal life and on social media I found taking myself out of conversations and muting accounts and triggering content that was not serving me to be really impactful. Prioritizing my to-dos, making my weekly lists organized by category was really huge so I can really see all I am doing in so many areas (ya know moving into a new house, organizing doc appts, construction starting soon, all the things!).
When I had weid feelings or questions I made sure to reach out to our doula instead of google; this was huge.
A lesson that was huge for me and continues to be: Asking for HELP WHEN I NEEDED (and still need) IT, leaning on friends and family who have done this before (even for like the smallest questions), calling my therapist and getting back on her calendar and reconnecting with friends who I have not spoken to on the phone in awhile instead of text.
With COVID insanity - life got crazy. I lost focus on connection with people in my life and really have tried to use this time to change that. And it has felt so good. (friends, family - all of you here - I love you).
In addition to all of this reflection a few things that have been AMAZINGLY helpful for me these past few months and weeks:
Nighttime routine with my husband: something to do together that is not watching TV. Our relationship is going to change soon and as much as I have loved all this alone time from COVID, sometimes we dont do as much together as we could, so we are changing that! We flip between meditations at night or right now we are reading for pleasure instead of watching friends re-runs LOL. It’s been REALLY nice and helped a lot with the insomnia (most nights!)
WALKS - I always take them anyways because my boss, Quincy, does not allow me to skip them. But I have really been trying to put my phone away and zen out with them now. No scolling. I either have a phone date with someone and plan it, a friend walk date, a podcast hour with myself, or lisen to songs I love and try to notice something new on my walks each time. It’s been really special and the movement really helps any aches and pains.
JOURNALING! But im not pressuring it. Once a week I write to the baby. I fill Baby W in on all that is going on and coming up and I end with gratitudes and visualizations - manifesting a happy and healthy baby and birth process.
AND FITNESS. Finding something fun and SAFE has been so key for me. I vary between yoga, strength classes and am currently loving how I feel after a peloton bootcamp (also adding in all the pelvic floor work!). I visualize that each workout is prepping me for my “big event” - this is what I am training for, but if it doesn’t feel good - I stop and when it feels good - I celebrate BIG. I repeat in my head “I CAN DO HARD THINGS.” Its been really powerful.
These are all things you do not have to be pregnant to do. These are things I plan to carry with me and only because - they are making me feel so amazing. And that is making them worth my time. Think on that.
Have to add - I also developed weird anxieties I have never had before. Things like driving are really hard for me right now, specifically being the passenger - its WERID and has never happened to me before. If you feel this way or anything weird like this, I think it’s pretty normal.
Body Feelings.
Wow, the body changes.
They are crazy.
It’s funny, in the beginning - I was so concerned “is my body changing fast enough.” “Is my bump normal?” “is something supposed to be different?!” I was so concerned and comparing my bump to everyone on IG who was also pregnant and wondering if I was “OK” and “normal” before I popped so to speak, I felt uncomfortable, clothes fitting funny and I didnt feel like me so these comparison games were easy in my head. But then, I popped and I now laugh, “how could I ever question this process?!” My body, your body - they know what they are doing. We must continue to work on trusting them.
I know I told you in part one of this post that I struggled with body image in the beginning.
I want to be honest with you. Everyday I still have thoughts. But, the goal with ALL body image work is not to not have thoughts. But instead, to meet them with truths. So when I have these thoughts I remind myself, “my body is creating my baby!!!!” And then I smile and myself and rub my belly and move on.
Wearing clothes that FIT is really key. I stopped trying to wear clothes that are not fitting me right now and I feel like a new human. The little things really matter!
Side note: Lululemon align pants are the greatest gift to pregnancy - side note. Size up and get as many as you freaking want LOL.
I feel the changes all over, but I also want you to remember, as that baby grows - blood flow and fluid increases. Swelling happens, the placenta gets heavier, your baby gets bigger…weight gain is a gift from your baby and your body growing is your baby nesting in its happiest home. I picture the baby swimming and playing and (doing a ton of karate bc thats what it feels like!) and living in its happiest home and it fills me with so much peace.
Relationship with food:
I have heard this a lot from clients and friends, that they had their greatest relationship with food when they were pregnant because it was so “easy” to listen to what their body wanted. I FEEL THAT. But als just want to add in, this is the goal always. Food really impacts the way I feel right now…but it ALWAYS DOES. It’s just that in pregnancy we choose to listen more beacuse we are prioritizing the baby’s health. The key though, is that we can carry this through outside of these 10 months. Because there is nothing worse than pregnancy heartburn and digestive issues let me tell you, but those things aren’t fun ever.
Some hi-lights from my journal over these weeks (and cravings!):
google says my pain is called lightening crotch and it hurts, wtf
I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK
17 weeks: Headaches have begun
Food faves: PB pretzels still and salt
21w2days:
Midnight on 21 weeks suffered extreme nausea until 4am, cramping and pain, now just generalized anxiety and exhaustion.
Chocolate starting not to feel great, but overall nothing is bad - just trying to eat less at one time. Cheese still king.
22 weeks: Started pre-natal yoga, didnt realize how much I needed to hear other people feeling the same things I was feeling. She said yesterday, “when you are giving birth and that baby is trying just as hard to meet you as you are trying to meet that baby, remember the best thing you can do is breathe and relax” - that hit me really hard.
I am craving every flavor of cream cheese imaginable
24 weeks: Cannot get enough apple cider, but only hot and only from the farm down the street
Shortness of breath is WILD
Who knew I loved tootsie roll pops so much, I actually just ordered a box of 100 but told Matt they were for trick or treaters and am going to hide them
26 weeks:
BURRATA IS A GIFT FROM ABOVE
Eggs suck again. They don’t excite me. I will eat them. But I dont love them like I once did.
I love pizza so much, but it does not love me back right now.
Literally all from my iphone notes journal named “baby w” from the past 3ish months. With way more that you just don’t want to see. Like ok wait, I’ll share one more who cares if it’s TMI…
Why do I smell weird. Why does my sweat smell differently? and can anyone smell me or is this like a double pregnancy whammy that only I can smell myself. I MUST FIGURE THIS OUT.
LOL a hard truth.
I also shared somethings on tiktok about things no one warned me about - the crazy dreams are so insane by the way. I dreamt I birthed a 20 pound baby.
More of those weridnesses here:
I also realize now that during pregnancy women are NOT meant to do this in silence or alone. For any pregnant friend I did not check in on enough please know, I get it now and I am sorry. And for all the moms that have reached out to me and shared advice and support and lists!!! Please know - I appreciate you more than you know. I cry A LOT these days but a lot of the tears are happy ones. I am so grateful for the support around me today and always.
My plan for the rest of this journey is to appreciate it. People say, “try to enjoy your pregnancy” and when you are nauseous and cranky, it sounds really freaking mean for someone to say that LOL - but I get it now. I will never have these FIRSTS ever again. The first kick - WOW, the first feelings and pains even, the first pregnancy experience is almost over and I get the importance of rest and sleep, but also just slowing down and enjoying it. That is my goal. Even if I CAN do it all - which some days I know I can, why should I right now?? That is taking energy away from my baby and happiness away from me. Asking for help and slowing down are hard but my body tells me these days when I have done too much and listening is the hardest and greatest work I can do!
So my goal right now, enjoy this time. REST. Slow and recognize - this is really hard work! Every minute of every day my body is working, even watching TV (currently re-bingeing Schitt’s Creek!) my baby is growing and working!! There are no moments off and I need to be treating my body and mind with love and gratitude for that work!
Love you all.
More to come on IG and TikTok always.
And here enjoy some of my meals and moments hi-lights throughout these months in the mean time!
XOXOXOXO
A few IG posts to refer back to with more on this topic:
And if you are reading this this weekend: 10/24-10/25 use code JENNAW10 on Necessaire’s site for 10% off, currently obsessed with the wash and lotion, feels very spa like with amazingly light scent and safe ingredients for right now! Link below!
Written by Jenna Werner
Hey there, I’m Jenna! I'm a Registered Dietitian, online nutrition coach and serious food lover. I'm ready to help you quit dieting forever and fall in love with the way food makes you feel.
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