My Relationship with Fitness - an update.
Right before I gave birth to Noah, I had recorded this episode of our podcast all about my personal relationship with fitness. This is literally my outline/script that I used when I solo recorded - unedited - so please don’t message me that it has errors LOL - anyways, after giving birth my relationship and appreciation for fitness changed all over again and I wanted to add an update to this.
The hardest work of all is being honest about your intentions.
And I have never meant anything more. I am currently 24.5 weeks post-partum. The whole workout at 6 weeks after birth thing was just not real for me. And I am very grateful that I took my time getting back into SAFE fitness. But once I started to feel better and was ready to get back into more intense fitness, faster running, heavier weights etc - there was a moment in time where I lost track of why I was working out. And I share this with you to remind you that no one - not an intuitive eating dietitian even - is immune to the pressures of diet culture. The stress of diet culture, and the impact that it has on our vulnerable states. I allowed old thoughts and feelings and reminders of what I once “could do” and what my body once looked like, to drive my workouts. And if I am being honest, those workouts really sucked. They weren’t fun, they felt heavy because in those moments I wasn’t doing something because I wanted to, I was doing something because I HAD TO - in my mind. And that makes all the difference. There is all this marketing and all these “other moms” on social media just pushing “snap back” culture and showing “doing it all” - and in my weak moments, when my baby wouldnt nap, I couldn’t pee by myself and I had no idea what day it was - all I wanted was some little piece of “me” back - and I thought putting pressure on my fitness or my body would be the answer. Well, let me tell you - it is NOT. Anyways, this was a brief moment in time for me, I had a good cry, a good journaling session and reminded myself of all this body has done in the past x amount of weeks and months - like grow, create, birth and feed a child to name a few! And with that the last thing this body needed was pressure.
So I had to be honest with my intentions again, and remind myself of all the reasons I LOVE working out. And all of them have always had nothing to do with my physical body size. I love the feeling, I love the energy, I love feeling my strength grow, I love challenges, I love being around people! (Re-joining a gym helped me a lot! - shout out to you Alpha Fit Club) - I love to sweat and I love the way I am able to be a better mom and partner and human after a little time alone. And the more I practice and remind myself of THIS mindset, this intention - the more I get out of the workout. The more I ground myself in appreciation in all my body CAN DO - the stronger I actually get. This lesson I have learned over and over and as you will keep reading, I have am continuously healing ❤️🩹 right alongside you - but the work and the growth is in the awareness, the reflection, the honesty and the courage to have that talk to yourself and remind yourself that the goal, the long term goal with fitness is health for life, and you don’t achieve that by abusing it. That sidelines you. So keep your intentions pure and rooted in the right spaces and I promise you - it will pay off. Longevity >>>> everything. Intuitve movement IS possible, but it is a journey - and it takes time.
LOVE YOU.
PODCAST EPISODE: EXERCISE OBSESSION Vs. INTUITIVE MOVEMENT
Dictation of podcast episode below:
Disclaimer I am not a personal trainer and not going to be giving fitness advice in this episode, instead calling attention to this time of year and the wording used to “motivate” as we approachh the new year.
If you listened to our first ep ever - first thanks! - and second you already know I have a deeeeep history with fitness obsession. But I also have a huge passion for fitness.
I dont think any health professional (for MOST PEOPLE - obviously some cases apply where this is not true) would ever tell someone not engage in movement.
What I always tell my clients is that there are TRUE benefits of MOVEMENT which I will list - but most people set out on a new fitness routine
My story:
I have always been an athlete, I played soccer on the boys team when i was like 3, and then never stopped. Even while playing soccer, I tried out every sport on the planet and was horrible at all of them but loved to be active during soccer’s off season. I always LOVED fitness, but I always just winged it, I just did it never really with a plan or a goal, just liked to move and stay active - this was raelly good.
Pre wedding I wanted to change my body, I never had “goals” that were strength or even fitness based they were simply I wanted to look good in my dress and it led to years of never looking “good enough” - and this is where it really begins.
Because here is the thing about fitness goals when they are abused - you could say I want to do 10 push ups and if you do them and your trainer or partners response first is ok now lets do 12, and so on and so forth, you never learn to be HAPPY with what you achieved, you never learn to appreciate what your body did, you just expect it to be able to do more - thus the vicious cycle perpetuates.
Post wedding when I really started a fitness journey, I got obsessed, and not on purpose. But who ever purposefully des right? The truth is the details dont matter but it was like a game to me of how hard I could go, how much I could do and how much I could achieve. If I had a 6 pack, I wanted a bigger butt, if my butt was big I thought my stomach looked less tight, it was this cycle that had no end and fueled by this “belief” that I could create happiness by doing MORE and getting more.
The real fucked up piece f this though is, I was fucking praised for this. The way I looked was society’s “goals” I was “goals” to people and it was the least healthy I have ever been in my life.
I failed all the IE questions im going to read to you next and the pst I shared on IG that ws me: I had guilt, shame, fear AND anxiety about missing workouts - making that workout no longer good for me. I missed summers at the beach (my favorite place) I missed family parties and dinners and events bc I could NOT leave my routine, I felt guilt on vacations (gd I miss vacations) bc I was “undoing” my progress and so on. THIS IS NOT OK.
Exercise is good for you. But not like this.
At this time I was also told by a doctor that I would not be able to get pregnant bc I was no longer ovulating due to the stress of over exercising, my hair was falling out in chunks and my skin was a disaster. Although I was eating, it was not enough of anything to provide the nutrition my body needed.
So, if you can relate to any of this so far. Keep listening.
Let’s take the Intuitive Eating Attuned Exercise Quiz:
Answer ‘Yes’ Or ‘No’ To These Questions
Continue to work out, even when you are sick?
Feel guilty if you skip a day of exercise?
Eat enough to fuel your physical activity?
Decline activities with friends, such as biking or going for a walk because it seems like a waste of time (it doesn’t “count” as exercise).
Increase the amount of your exercise if you think that you ate “too much food or too high in calories”
Feel restless or irritable if you take a day off or try to cut down your exercise?
Exercise longer than originally intended?
Lie to friends and family to hide the extent of time you spend exercising?
Feel the need to workout with increasing amounts of time in order to feel good?
Decline going out or doing social activities in order to exercise?
Go through withdrawal when not exercising, such as feeling anxious or depressed?
Have a fear, that if you stop exercising, you will not be able to return to working out?
How did you do?
NOW lets set this straight: there are LOT OF Benefits of movement.
Exercise can increase the production of endorphins, which help produce positive feelings and make you feel happier
Regular physical activity is essential to reducing muscle loss and maintaining strength as you age
Exercise is known to increase your energy levels
Improve insulin sensitivity and cardiovascular fitness
Decrease blood pressure and blood triglyceride levels
Can improve sleep
Improves blood flow to the brain and helps brain health and memory
All of this has nothing to do with weight loss
Switching Gears.
Exercise can also be a stressor on your body, actually Exercise can be a GOOD stressor as it challenges your body to adapt and grow, BUT exercise at very high intensities puts strain and bad stress on your body and heart Can lead to:
inflammation -> headaches, bloating, impaired recovery
Consistently working at max capacities will stress the heart -> you will not be able to lose weight/ gain muscle because your body is overwhelmed by the stress on your heart.
Someone wrote in asking: how do I balance knowing that exercise will help with stress vs intuitive movement. I want you t understand that movement IS exercise first of all and second, when your only way to manage stress is fitness, that is something we want to look a little deeper into. Stress management should be robust, bc when fitness is the only way we manage it we often abuse it. Shifting the thought process to understand the benefits of just simply moving your body is so important.
Something our society really gets twisted is it makes us feel like a workout has to be crawl out of the room exhausting to be “good” — update that could be the worst thing for you!!
Just like with food we must understand how detrimental it is to our health, the same way it is to fear food - to not be able to “skip a workout” or to “take no days off”
Something I tell my clients often is this.
I see these women walking around my neighborhood everyday around 4pm, no matter the weather. They are likely in their 70s, one is so cute she even carries a water bottle with her - I digress. They do this pretty much every day who knows how long they walk but they walk and talk and move. I bet they have been doing this since their 20s. It is sustainable and makes them happy. Starting an unsustainable fitness plan - I need you to remember any “changes that come from it” will only last as long as you do with that routine. So for me, I was working out 4 hours a day. The moment I stopped doing that, my body for sure changed - IT NEEDED TO but it certainly changed. Those who go HAM in a HIIT class 5 days a week, do you think that is something you will be doing in your 70s? Needless to say your joints will not last if you do LOL but just like with nutrition it is so important to look at fitness and movement from a sustainability stand point. What will be really good for my body forever?! And what will make me feel good forever?!
Some things I would recommend:
Strength training - anyone at any age has the ability to build STRENGTh and therefore improve bone density which esp for women is so important.
WALKING
Yoga/Pilates for flexibility
AND ANYTHING YOU TRULY ENJOY!
Transitioning into that forever mindset can be hard, especially for athletes, but give yourself time and I want you to think about long term goals. My mom and I had this convo once and she said to me shes a trainer BTW - she said she used to encourage clients to lift weights so that when they got older and god forbid they fell, they could get back up. To hold their future grandchildren, to sit and stand from a chair and to prevent injury that can come with age. These are really amazing reasons to engage in movement!!
The other topic that came up from some of your questions was about REST.
I need you to know it is part of the “prescription” - no workout regimen will ever be effective or efficient or HEALTHY without rest. And please understand that listening to your body, when you are tired, when the movement doesnt sound enjoyable, when you need to stop - you do not need to “power through” you need to listen and that is how change will be created. I promise.
Making peace with movement is a beautiful thing.
This topic is so big. This is just the beginning of this but I hope it gave yu some things to think about.
This time of year specifically yu will hear things like you have to burn it to earn it, you have to do a double to earn your meal or whatever other BS. I want you to remember this episode and remind yourself you NEVER HAVE TO EARN YOUR FOOD. EVER. EVER EVER. And if the fitness you are ding you dont enjoy - there is no point to it.
To close, in the HSH Method group course we heard from our last group that this fitness topic was their favorite lesson. They unpacked a lot of this in that class and got to really re-eval their relationship with movement and make some changes. We have a course launching in January and would love to see you there. If you go to www.happystronghealthrd.com and click on group coaching, yu can apply and we can schedule a call asap to get you enrolled!
LOVE YOU MEAN IT !
XXOXOXO
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