How to Care for Yourself and Others While Grieving
Once upon a time I worked as an outpatient dietitian and most of my clients were diabetic. A client came in one day who had great lab values indicating really well managed diabetes. I asked him how long he had been diabetic and he said over 15 years. At this point, I’m confused as to why this client needed to see an RD for diabetes education, so I asked, “what are you looking to learn from this session today?” He replied, “My wife passed less than a year ago and she used to manage my blood sugar for me. I don’t remember anything and I don’t know how to do this.”
This is just one example of how loss and grief can impact nutrition and health. As a clinical dietitian now, I see patients every day who are so deeply impacted by loss that they completely lose their appetite or forget to eat. In clinical nutrition terms, depending on other factors and measures, this leads to a diagnosis of malnutrition which is a precursor for various health complications. The body can’t function properly without sufficient intake of food to nourish and support daily functions!
Eating, for the grieving person, may be harder for various reasons:
Hunger and fullness cues may be disturbed. It’s normal for hunger and fullness cues to be impacted by times of high emotion. Think about the last time you were upset - did it impact your hunger and fullness cues?
Less motivation to make meals & nourish. For some people, making meals is an act of love and something to be shared. Imagine this: if you lost the person you used to make/eat all of your meals with, it could be harder to return to that practice after loss.
Loss of income and resources. If the person who passed was the breadwinner, that loss of income could make it much harder to meet your bodies needs.
Lack of food preparation skills. Like in the example I shared in the beginning of this post, it can be daunting to have to learn how to cook for yourself after you didn’t for a time.
Preoccupation with grief, forgetting to eat. This is all too common. Sometimes grief can be so intense that it occupies all of your mind and suddenly, food doesn’t seem important or appealing.
Tips For the Human Grieving
Grief can be debilitating. It can seem impossible to care for yourself after loss. Here are ways to take care of yourself during those times:
Plan ahead. If you do cook, make enough to refrigerate and/or freeze for future meals
Shop smart. Buy convenience foods(frozen meals, frozen veggies, canned goods) to have on hand that require little preparation for the times where you’re feeling unmotivated to cook.
Have a back up. Nutrition shakes shouldn’t necessarily be a go - to for all your meals, but they do great in a pinch! If you can’t imagine eating anything at this time, a nutrition shake with protein and carbohydrates can support you.
Stock up. Have canned beans, frozen fruits and veggies, and easy prep meals on hand at all times.
Accept help. If someone offers to come cook for you or prepare a meal and drop it off, let them!
Tips For How to Support the Human Grieving
One BIG way people support those who are grieving is by preparing food for them. This is SUCH a great gesture and could be the difference between this person we love eating a meal or not!
Make it easy. Give food in containers that they do not have to return to you. Trying to coordinate which dish goes back to who can be daunting! It can also be helpful to pack food in servings of 1 or 2 per container for easy access.
Make it nutritious. Level up your next casserole or soup by doing including these 3 things:
Carbohydrates: pasta, noodles, rice, or any other grain
Protein: Chicken, steak, tofu, beans, cheese
Color: fruits and veggies
The next time someone you know is grieving, you know how to support them as best as you can with food! If you are that someone grieving, know that taking care of yourself is still so, so important. It may not feel like it now, but doing your best to take care of yourself now WILL pay off in the future.
Written by Chelsea Shafer, RD
Hey, I'm Chelsea!
I’m a Registered Dietitian, 200-hr certified yoga instructor, and cat mom! As HSH Office Manager I love all things intuitive eating + movement and I’m glad you’re here! Learn more about me and the HSH offerings here.
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